God says our homes are to be one of our greatest priorities in life. Take a look at the wife in Proverbs 31 starting at verse 10. This virtuous woman was selfless and found joy in serving the Lord, her husband, their children and even those outside of their home. By serving your family and setting the tone of your home to be a secure, loving, peaceful environment you are giving them a gift that money can not buy. Bringing priceless joy to the ones you love the most and bringing glory to God through your role as the keeper of your home.
As some of you may know, I am a homemaker so I am very passionate in sharing this topic with you. I am a stay at home wife and mother to our 3 beautiful little children. Christian Jr. and Chrishon, our 5 year old twin boys and our 1 year old little princess Faith. God’s Word has taught me many things about being the keeper of my home. These 5 helpful tips that I will touch on are all things I have learned and grown in along the way. Through walking with God in this area of my life I can say that He has helped me to create a more peaceful, loving and joyful home for my family. My hope is that these helpful tips will be an encouragement for you as a homemaker as well.
Homemaking is a wonderful calling that is set on the hearts of wives and mothers. To nurture and care for your family in a way that no one else can. This privilege to honor and serve your family was specifically given to you because God has given it to you and He has already fully equipped you for it. You have everything you need thrive in it. In this article, I want to share with you 5 amazing tips that will help you create a haven for your family through becoming a joyful homemaker.
Seeking His Guidance
One of the first thing that I learned on my journey to creating a haven for my family is that I needed to seek God’s guidance and wisdom in this area. I could not, nor did I want to do this all on my own. Asking Him to give me what I needed to raise my family in a way that was pleasing to Him. I wanted to have a heart for homemaking and to have joy in serving my family. As homemakers, it is so important for us to realize that the love and service we give to our family and our home each day is highly favored by the Lord.
Take a moment to pray over yourself and your household. Seek answers to questions you may have or things you would like to change within the dynamics of household by reading scripture and listening to what the Holy Spirit lays on your heart. Ask God to set your focus on glorifying Him through your role as a homemaker. Find joy and appreciation in the work that you do. This is one of the best ways to help fight off the feelings of homemaking becoming mundane.
Habits of A Homemaker
In Proverbs 31:27, it describes the virtuous wife as being a woman who watched over the ways of her home and did not eat the bread of idleness. This means that she watched over the habits of herself, her husband and her children, making sure they were in line with God’s Word. She also did not have a habit of becoming lazy or procrastinating her household duties.
When we develop good habits in caring for our household, this will in turn help our days to go smoother and lessen the amount of unnecessary stress that may come our way. Spend time in God’s Word as a family. Help your children develop a habit of spending time with the Lord. Also, pray over your child’s relationship with the Lord, that he or she will have a heart for Him and eagerly follow His ways.When it comes to the habit of keeping a clean home, my mother use to say to us, “cleanliness is next to godliness”. This saying stuck with me all the way into becoming a mother myself and I am so glad it did. I believe there is so much truth in what my mother said because it is similar to what God is saying in Proverbs.
When you develop a habit of doing something, it really becomes second nature in your day to day life. When we develop a habit of getting things done that need to be done then the stress of the having so much to do in one day goes away. Spreading out your household tasks by having certain days to do things will keep everything from piling up on your plate at the same time. Also, by involving your children in some of your daily household tasks this can help them to develop similar habits of cleanliness as well.
Children love routines. They create more of a security blanket for them and gives them a level of comfort to know some of the things they can expect throughout their day. For example, knowing their meal times, bedtimes, morning routines etc all bring security to our children.
Check in with yourself periodically. Taking care of your family and your home is a wonderful gift, but do not forget to care for you as well. This is important to your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health. Always set aside some time to check in with yourself! As a mother, self-care is so important to prioritize. For tips on starting or adding to your self-care routine read my blog post 10 Amazing Self-Care Tips for Moms.
Can you think of some good habits that you can develop within your home to help bring more peace and less stress?
A Christ-Centered Home
Your home environment should be a place of peace and predictability. The place where when your husband comes home from a hard work day he sees that the house is well kept and has a warm meal to eat or when your children have a hard day at school, they need know that they can always come home to a hug and a caring ear to listen to them without judgement. Now, we all know that we do not live in a perfect world and sometimes things do not work out as we planned but most of the time our family should be able to count on us for these selfless acts of love.
Another question to ask yourself when creating a haven for your family is “Who and what am I allowing into my home?” I will break this down and explain.
When you think about who you are allowing into your home, think about the people you see often who are outside of your home. Many times this is may be extended family, childhood friends, co-workers, your children’s friends etc. Do the people that you allow into your home influence you to be better? Do they walk with the Lord? Are your children’s friends respectful of authority? Do you have uplifting, positive relationships with your sphere of influence or is the focus to tear each other down?
Who you let into your home says a lot about the company you like to keep and the influences deem okay to have around your family.
Another piece of this is what you allow into your home. This can be anything from the types of shows you watch to the type of music you listen or the genre of the books you read. Things that enter our minds, eyes and ears are powerful. My husband and I take the time to filter the things that our children read, watch and listen to because one of the enemy’s primary goals is to captivate the minds and hearts of the most innocent of us all, our children.
In today’s world there are to many ways for our children to be exposed to the wrong thing. We as parents must protect them and ourselves from things that can wrongfully influence us with the intent to lead us away from the ways of God. Our children are like sponges, ready to soak up whatever comes their way. We need to make sure as much as possible that what they are soaking up brings them closer to Christ.
Relationships
The 4th tip I would like to share with you revolves around the types of relationships we have with the people in our home. I feel that this is one of the biggest factors in having a joyful home or a not so joyful home.
What is the relationship like between you and your husband? Do you keep the Lord within your marriage and pray over it together? Can you be open and honest with one another? Do you seek to serve one another as husband and wife? Is your love for one another more conditional or unconditional? Do you give each other grace? Do you forgive each other as God forgives you? Does your marriage set the example of what you want your children to look for in a wife or husband? These are loaded questions but they are questions that can help strengthen your marriage, build joy and unity and allow your children to see what a marriage centered around Christ looks like.
What are the relationships like between you and your children? Are the lines of communication open between you?
When our children are small, we are the loudest voice in their world. Often times, we have the most influence. As they get older, other influences can become stronger than our own. We must stay in prayer that our children will have the ability to discern which influences are good and which influences can lead them down the path of darkness.
Maintaining a trustworthy, open, loving line of communication helps us to have an insight on the good things that are happening, as well as the not so good things or the things they may be uncertain about.
Words, Words, Words
The last tip in creating a haven for your family is when everyone has an understand of how to be intentional with their words. The words that we speak in our home directly affects our mindset, our heart, our relationships, our habits, and our home environment. Words can bring death or life over your home and your family. Negative, slanderous words are a gateway for the enemy to enter into your home and reek havoc. While words of love, gratitude and appreciation bring peace, joy and comfort into your home. Knowing how to loving direct and redirect your children is so much better than diminishing their character. Sitting down with your husband to have an honest conversation about a disagreement is better than screaming at each other in front of your children. The use of our words can either fill our homes with joy or snatch the joy right out of it. The Lord calls us to be wise with our words (Proverbs 10:19), to speak in love to one another (Colossians 3:14) and to not be quick to anger (James 1:19-20).
If you are looking for more tips on taming your tongue, click the links to read my previous blog posts on Taming Our Tongues in Marriage and Taming Our Tongues in Motherhood.
Podcast Recommendation: The Thankful Homemaker Podcast gives gospel-driven encouragement to homemakers. I highly recommend this wonderful resource.
Book Recommendation:
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Set-Apart Motherhood: Reflecting Joy and Beauty in Family Life By Leslie Ludy / NavPress Motherhood can feel like a whirlwind force – leaving your world hectic and disorganized. But Leslie Ludy believes you don’t have to resign yourself to chaos! In Set Apart Motherhood, she challenges you not to settle for anything less than God’s pattern, and offers tips on how to raise your children, manage your home, and keep Christ at the center. 160 pages, softcover from NavPress. |
Blessings on your journey, Frances
Love these. It’s so important to safeguard our homes and create an atmosphere of love and peace centered around Christ. The homemakers job is probably arguably one of the toughest jobs out there.
I so love your blog posts! It is always thoughtfully made. Indeed, a homemaker isn’t idle but at the same time she looks out for her own wellbeing. God bless you always! 🙂
There’s so much wisdom here, and I know you will encourage readers!
Very insightful, I hadn’t really thought about who you let in your home having an impact on your living space. For me, when my house is tidy I feel most peaceful and at home!
You are speaking to my heart! I love when my house is tidy and clean. So peaceful and satisfying!….I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Our children are like little sponges ready to soak up whatever comes their way. This can be good or bad. It is so important that we censor who comes through the doors of our homes. Their actions and words have the power to influence us as well as our children.