Please note this post may contain affiliate links and ads, read my full disclosure HERE.
February is one of my favorite months of the year. It’s the month I was born in but also, it’s the month of LOVE!! Yes, Valentine’s Day is near! I would like to use this as a great opportunity to share with you a book my husband and I we’re recommended by some friends years ago. We have reflected numerous times on the things we have learned from this book. It’s called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman.
These 5 love languages are:
–Words of Affirmation
–Quality Time
–Receiving Gifts
–Acts of Service
–Physical Touch
What are love languages? In my own words, it seems to be the way you and your husband can clearly communicate the love you have for one another. It’s about filling each other’s love tanks. It’s about being very intentional in the way your expressing love to each other. This book is a very easy read with practical applications that can start being applied today in your marriage. This is exciting news! Whether you’re engaged, newlyweds, or have been married for awhile now this book could help you develop an even deeper connection in your relationship. It’s been very helpful for my husband and I. Sometimes in a relationship, you want to show the other person how much you love them by the way that you would like to be loved. This is not always beneficial if their love language is different than yours. In this book, Gary talks specifically about how to express your spouse’s love language to them and how this can help strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together intimately. He gives insight on what you can do if you are unsure on how to speak your spouse’s love language. There is even a profile quiz for couples on his website, so that you both are able to learn what each others’ love languages are.
After taking the profile quiz for couples, you will receive an email with more information on your language of love, share this with your spouse and read theirs too. I highly recommend reading the book together to fully understand how to start communicating your love languages.
What if you and your spouse could express your love on a deeper level? Giving each other the gift of showing love the way you both receive it best is one of the greatest things you can do for your marriage. I do believe this wholeheartedly because I’ve witnessed it in my own marriage. There’s also a joy that comes with knowing you’re going the extra mile for one another.
Our Love Languages:
After taking our profile quiz, we found out that we have the same primary and secondary love languages. Our primary being words of affirmation and our secondary being quality time.
This has actually changed from when we took the quiz a few years ago, when my primary love language was acts of service and his was physical touch. Quality time was still the secondary for us both. We are both big on our quality time so it’s almost tied with our first love language. It is totally possible for your first and second love languages to score pretty closely together as Gary explains, it just gives your spouse another way to show their love for you!
For most of us, our deepest needs are to be loved and accepted, especially by our spouse. Sometimes when our love tanks are empty, we can look at our spouse as if they are the enemy, we lash out and distance ourselves. It is possible that if your love tank is empty, then maybe your spouse’s is too. You may need to take time to reflect and figure out what you can do for each other to help the other one feel most loved. Think about your spouse’s love language. The most simple acts of love will bring joy to your spouse and make their heart flutter, if it falls into their category of love. They will feel like they matter to you because you are intentionally showing them how much you care. If your husband’s love language does not come naturally to you or yours does not come naturally to him, it will take some daily practice. Gary explains this more deeply in his book with tips on helping this become more natural to you.
If you both feel that your marriage is in real turmoil, Gary gives some advice on how to try to mend your marriage which includes making a commitment to do better and asking what you can do to be a better spouse. Listen intently when your husband shares with you what you can do better and let him know you understand his feelings. This can also be the key to discovering his love language. Choosing to express acts of love could greatly benefit your entire relationship.
My husband and I truly enjoy this book. It is one that we have come back to throughout our marriage. Sometimes the most simple things can be easily forgotten. This can be a great refresher for those times. If you would like to purchase this book, I have a direct link listed below for you:
 |
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, New Edition – Slightly Imperfect By Gary Chapman / Northfield Publishing |
Speaking your spouse’s love language can certainly get your marriage back on the right track but also remember to pray and pray together over your marriage. Putting God first in your marriage will bless and solidify your union. It will strengthen you in ways you can’t imagine. Speak good affirmations over one another and give grace as you would want grace given to you.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I hope you have enjoyed this book review and that maybe this resource will be useful in your relationship!
Blessings on your journey, Frances
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Leave a Reply